I recently received a referral from an employee for the Department of Homeland Security (DHS). DHS employees often face very stressful situations, depending on their job function and can find learning skills in anger management to be extremely helpful. Homeland security is one of our nations top priorities and therefore can be an equation for stress for those that are in high demand positions. The employee who we are currently seeing for executive coaching will be taught a series of tools from our highly acclaimed client workbook “Anger Management in the Twenty-first Century”. We will focus on improving empathy and emotional intelligence, stress management, assertive communication and managing expectations. Anger management skills improve relationships and sharpen ones ability to have more positive interactions.
Posted with permission from
Ari Novick, Ph.D.
AJ Novick Group – Anger Management
The holidays often bring family members together who maybe haven’t seen much of each other throughout the year. Old resentments and grievances can often emerge, sometimes with strained or even disasterous consequences. Many families find themselves time-stressed with holday preparations and activities which lower coping ability even further.
The following five tips have been found useful to help you deal with that inevitable holdiay stress:
1. Watch carefully the amount of alcohol youÂ consume.Â Many anger management students confess thatÂ excessive drinking definitely contributed to family conflict and aggression.
2.Reduce stress by managing your time carefully andÂ not over-scheduling yourself. Take time for yourself.
3. Adjust your expectations of family members. No, Aunt Irene hasn’t changed since last year. Tell yourself that you only have to see her once a year- you can cope with it.
4. Work on forgiveness skills. Let old resentments go. Holding grudges hurts you more than your relatives.
5. Develop better empathy skills. Try to see the world from the viewpoint of irritating family members and youÂ may beÂ shocked at how your anger dissipates.
For more tips on how to deal with angry feelings or the angry behavior ofÂ others, visit The Anger Coach Website.
Learning to deal with stress is one of the eight tools that is needed for anger control.
Learning to deal with holiday stress is even more challenging because of the time crunch around the holidays and the need to deal with relatives who might not always be exactly at the top of your Christmas list.
Here are some tips to deal with holiday stress that should help you get through the season more comfortably:
1.Catch your stress early. Notice physical signs of stress such as muscle tension, voice getting louder, or behavior becoming more disorganized.
2. Make Necessary Life Changes to reduce your stress. Shop earlier. Get more family support. Take time off from work. Request more civil behavior from family members.
3. View Stressors Differently.For a stressor to cause stress in our lives, it has to be perceived as a stressor. Work on how you see things and try to see them in a different light. (Hint: this really works well with obnoxious family members: try seeing them as “limited” than than “irritating.”)
4.Stress-guard your life. Eat right. Exercise. Sleep well. Take care of yourself emotionally. Get your needs met. Have a good time.If needed use Garcinia Cambogia and get fitter and stronger.
This holiday season, you may find yourself in groups or gatherings that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometime you can change it without offending anyone, yet standing up for our rights or opinions. We call this “assertive communication.”
When the tone of a social gathering becomes too
confrontational, negative, lewd, insensitive, prejudiced, or otherwise distasteful, you needn’t remain at the mercy of it. You can usually find a way to but speak up,so that
things back move back into positive territory.
Speak your mind (in a nice way) by letting others know how you are feelings in response to what is going on. Offenders may be taken aback, but those who share your discomfort will welcome the intervention.
Too often we let situations deteriorate beyond what we find acceptable and may be hesitant to address it. But silence often only helps to condone the behavior and may create resentment and stress in you.
Click here for an article on specific ways to assert yourself,especially with your family members.
“27-year-old Vermont resident Steven J. Lapre is claiming that he is being made an example of after being accused of running over and killing a wild turkey as he was driving to his anger management class.
He asked at his arraignment, “How many citations do they hand out for all the dead deer by the side of the road?” He also claimed he tried to avoid an entire flock crossing the road, but still managed to hit one. He faces a $500 fine if convicted.
Two witnesses came forward saying they saw Lapre speed up and swerve toward the turkeys. Lapre countered this, saying his car has a loud muffler. As he left the court he caused a stir, saying “You know how stupid this sounds?”
Do you agree? Comments welcome!