Has it occurred to you that your attitudes, appearance, demeanor, and behaviors are constantly teaching others how you are willing to be treated? It’s like we are beaming signals to other people of which we may or may not be aware.Â Yet, we sometimes are astounded when people then treat us in ways consistent with those signals we have been sending.
Want to change someone’s anger toward you? Ask yourself if perhaps you are somehow “pulling” (or at least encouraging) that behavior from the other by how you are with them. Of course, this is not always the case, but it is an excellent place to start – and it is something that is under your control to change.
To continue this concept, perhaps you become angry when you feel that others disrespect you, bully you, don’t listen to you, don’t take you seriously, or perhaps don’t act lovingly toward you. Again, the appropriate self-talk here is to ask yourself if you could somehow change what you do to get a different response from the people you now have issues with.Â This self-talk is empowering and elevates you from victim to feeling a measure of control over your life because you can always control what you do much more than what others do or do not do.