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Is it OK for wives to verbally abuse husbands for not helping more around the house?

In situations like that, women often feel justified in being angry, frustrated and fatigued—and verbally expressing their discontent. But, wives are not justified in verbally abusing their husbands to get them to do more. Assertive communication The right way to get your husband to help around the house involves teaching wives a better way to communicate and motivate…

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How to Get the Most out of Marriage Counseling

A guide for Orange County couples on the brink of divorce Many couples come to me after they’ve tried traditional marriage counseling. They’re usually frustrated and depressed. One of the most common things they say is: “We tried marriage counseling and it didn’t work!”  If you feel this way, you’re not alone. But, as you’ll see,…

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The Eight Tools of Anger Control

It seems that anger is everywhere in our society. One just has to read the newspaper daily or watch the evening news to conclude that controlling one’s angry feelings is a major challenge for many adults, teens, and children. Uncontrolled anger is a major factor in domestic violence and spousal abuse, in aggressive driving violations,…

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What to do if one spouse doesn’t want to have sex

When a Spouse Doesn’t Want to Have Sex It has been two months since Janet and Mark have had sex. They’re hardly speaking to each other. If you asked Janet about this, she would say that their home has become a battle zone-they fight about every little thing. Janet goes out of her way to…

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Couples in crisis: How couple therapy mitigates stubborn psychological defenses

Guest article by Dr James Tolbin. Edited slightly and reproduced with permission. Why does a couple typically seek therapy? Research indicates that by the time a couple seeks couple therapy and arranges an appointment, the partners have been at war for multiple years on a range of seemingly unresolvable issues. Often a recent event is…

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Don’t get angry – use conflict resolution skills

Guest Article by Sherry Gaba Conflict is difficult for many people. People with codependency often learn to avoid conflict due to fear of abandonment, rejection, and/or criticism. Learning conflict resolution skills makes it easier to handle conflict effectively so you learn not to fear confrontation. Often with the need to people please and receive outside validation,…

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Poor Sleep contributes to Anger

Lack of sleep intensifies anger, impairs adaptation to frustrating circumstances Losing just a couple hours of sleep at night makes you angrier, especially in frustrating situations, according to new Iowa State University research. While the results may seem intuitive, the study is one of the first to provide evidence that sleep loss causes anger. Other…

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The Anger-Damage effect on your heart: Guest blog from Dr Alan Levy

THE ANGER-DAMAGE EFFECT ON YOUR HEART Guest Article by By Alan Levy, Ph.D. How does anger do its damage and contribute to heart trouble? In this brief article, I explain the physiological and psychological mechanisms that are problematic ways of handling frustration and anger. I also present 8 helpful hints to better manage negative emotions…

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ANGRY AT YOUR PARTNER? Think Again!

Literally, think again. And then think about what you are thinking about- especially around anger issues. As famous psychologist William James said over 100 years ago: “Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.” The case of Sally and Jim Sally and Jim sat in my office glaring at each other. Sally told a…

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Successful Marriage: Love ain’t enough says Dr Tony Fiore

What are these “thirds” that are destructive to a relationship?A destructive third can be anything that prevents a couple from having a close bond, having each other’s back and prioritizing their relationship. Thirds can create havoc in a marriage, yet the problem is not strictly a marriage problem per se. The real problem is inability…

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Can I Fall Back in Love After The Thrill is Gone?

Having been a therapist for over thirty years, I am always pleased to find new ways of helping couples. A few years ago, I discovered a treatment approach by Willard Harley that’s short term and practical. Combined with other techniques that I use, this approach has proven effective. Furthermore, it offers hope to relationships that…

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Anger and couple finances: How to avoid financial infidelity

The most valuable thing in a long-term stable relationship is having a partnership, and most new couples don’t realize that money is a major factor in marital happiness. Money is one of the biggest generators of problems, arguments, and resentment in long-term relationships. Couples argue about spending, saving budgeting, and disparity in earnings. When couples…

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Men: How to disarm an angry wife

According to famed therapist Terry Real, the short answer is: “To disarm an angry woman, give her what she needs.” To illustrate this point, let me introduce to 55 year-old Jerry who came to see me because his very angry (Linda) gave him the ultimatum of seeing a therapist or a divorce lawyer. (He had…

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16-hour online anger management course only $69.95!

The AngerCoach now offers its acclaimed and widely-accepted anger management program online. Dr. Fiore, a Ph.D. psychologist with over 35 years experience, developed this completely web-based program with the same content as in his local person anger management classes.  Many clients are unable to attend in-person classes due to busy schedules, or cannot find classes…

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10-hour online anger management course only $49.95!

The AngerCoach now offers its acclaimed and widely-accepted anger management program online. Dr. Fiore, a Ph.D. psychologist with over 35 years experience, developed this completely web-based program with the same content as in his local personal anger management classes.  Many clients are unable to attend in-person classes due to busy schedules, or cannot find classes…

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Controlled separation – How to give your troubled marriage oxygen without divorce

Many couples in a troubled marriage or relationship don’t really want to get a divorce, and they don’t want to go through marriage counseling right now (or they tried it and it didn’t help), so what are they to do? The answer is an option that many couples find appealing – something called a “Controlled…

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Orange County marriage counselor asks: Is your marriage worth saving?

The Story of Mary and Bill Mary and Bill were a nice couple empty nesters. Married 20 years, hey had built a nice life together. Their mortgage was low, their children were in college and doing well, most of the time they got along with each other fairly well. But one day Mary told Bill…

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Angry at narcissistic husband? How to cope short of divorce!

Anger and partner narcissism: Betty and Jason Betty and Jason had been married for 5 years and were now being seen in couples therapy because of almost constant conflict. Jason saw the problem as “Betty’s anger” which he couldn’t cope with and caused him to completely emotionally shut down. He constantly threatened divorce lamenting that…

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8 things you can do TODAY to prevent angry partner blowups

Spending so much time together in social isolation during the pandemic is bound to challenge the patience and coping skills of many partners. Fortunately, new technology has been developed to help you stay calm called “Gaze-Spotting” based on the original work of Dr. David Grand, developer of a technique called Brainspotting. STEP  1 : Walk…

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Lovehacking: Quick fixes to improve your marriage or relationship

How Love-Hacks can give your marriage a tune-up To fix a truly troubled marriage takes much effort and commitment. But, many marriages or relationships just need a tune-up. One psychologist, Dr. Eli Finkel, calls these “Lovehacks” in his new and very well-researched and well-thought-out book “The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.” Lovehacks provide…

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How to reduce resentment toward your partner – even if your partner won’t change!

Do You Have Resentment In Your Marriage? Mary, age 40, came to see me recently for a consultation on how she could improve her marriage and deal with an angry husband who refused to see a marriage therapist. She was extremely resentful, unhappy and depressed. She had tried “everything” to get her husband to change-…

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