Brent and Tessa Take the First Steps to Rekindle Their Connection
In the last Blog post, we met Brent and Tessa, two fictional characters who are in desperate need of counseling due to infidelity and a breakdown of trust that caused a massive rift in their once-strong relationship. While Brent is keen to seek the help of a psychologist, his wife, Tessa, absolutely refuses to go,…
You Want Me To See a Psychologist? Why should I?
“You want me to do what?” Tessa asked as she turned to her husband, a look of shock and anger on her face. “I want you to see a therapist with me”, Brent replied quietly. “I think it will help; I mean, we keep having the same fights, and I am getting sick of this.”…
From Conflict to Connection. A New 9-step Program by Dr. Tony Fiore
They say that doctors make the worst patients. I sometimes wonder if this is true for psychologists who seek counseling. In my profession, the majority of my day is spent listening. In fact, I have spent much of the past 40 years listening to my patients, being there for their highs and lows, guiding them…
The Perils of the Purple Suitcase
Winter in Southern California is a beautiful time of year. Come December, I make the journey into the darkest depths of my closet, dust off my favorite jacket, and air it out to be worn for its brief yet well-appreciated turn in my clothing rotation. I like to comment to my wife that the jacket…
An Encounter with Mr and Mrs Irate
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holiday season are by far my most treasured times of the year. My family comes together; we bask in the glow of stories of old, we meet the new faces that come into our home, and, of course, we eat ourselves silly, take luxurious midday naps, and learn colorful new words…
How to Navigate Disappointing Outcomes
Sammi thought she had prepared herself for this outcome; after all, the odds were 50/50, but the feeling of loss, betrayal and hollow emptiness overwhelmed her. She had poured her heart and soul into her volunteer work, selling T-shirts, distributing yard signs, and even organizing community meetings to help her beloved candidate win. Potluck Fridays…
Taking Control When Emotions Run Hot
“You know Doc, it’s not my fault people don’t understand me. If they could only see the situation from my point of view, I wouldn’t get angry. You know what I mean?” Of course, I know what he meant. If only life took us by the hand and led us down a path paved with…
Navigating those Tough Talks
Relationships, no matter how perfect they may seem, always come with some bumps in the road, and there inevitably comes a time when we must have that dreaded ‘tough talk’ with our partner. The movies portray this as the ‘we need to talk’ moment, a cliffhanger where the audience wonders whether their relationship will survive…
I’m Now a Certified Discernment Counselor!
Hello Everyone, I’m thrilled to share some exciting news – I am now officially certified as a Discernment Counselor. This certification represents a significant milestone in my professional journey, and I couldn’t be more excited about the opportunities it will allow me to help individuals and couples navigate the complex terrain of relationship challenges. What Does…
Is Politics Affecting Your Relationship?
Throughout my life, I have seen political opponents come and go, listened to people speak of their differing opinions, and watched the events surrounding Washington play out without directly impacting my practice. However, our political climate has been so emotionally charged over recent years that the divide between sides has never been more significant. In…
Align Your Expectations and Decrease Conflict
Expectation. This single word can cause so much conflict in a relationship. At some point, we all have expectations in a partnership, such as how the other person will behave, think, or feel, and these expectations stem from our own world experiences and personal values. When our expectations are not met, we can feel irritated,…
Learn Your Love Language
We all have that special something that makes us feel loved. For some, it is a warm embrace; others may prefer a delicious home-cooked meal or spending time with their mates. Everybody is different, and we all feel and show love uniquely. This is the basis of the concept of ‘Love Languages ‘, a term…
Do you Believe in Forgiveness or Revenge?
This topic brings out many conflicting emotions; many of my patients admitted to struggling with the concept of forgiveness and letting go of grievances. Some of my patients feel they need to get even in order to feel vindicated, while others think they will be seen as wimps, especially if the grievance was done on…
A Story to Make You Smile…
Have Road Anger? Think of Luigi One day last week, I heard from a previous patient of mine named Jim, whom I had not seen for 15 years. I had long forgotten he was in one of my anger management classes. He called to refer someone else and told me he had always remembered my…
Part Two: Retreat and Think Things Over.
Take the High Road. In my previous post, we learned what happens to our bodies in times of stress, how our brain releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, and how this quickly begins to course through our bodies, increasing our heart rate and blood pressure. In this post, I explain how to take…
Retreat and Take Time to Think Things Over.
How to Let Calmer Heads Prevail. Part one. Cassie and Phil loved each other dearly but often found themselves in heated verbal battles over almost anything and everything. The most minor disagreements quickly became a full-fledged war over who was right and who was wrong. This left Cassie and Phil feeling exhausted, emotionally disconnected from…
Should You Forgive? The Power of Letting Go.
Long-term relationships come with a myriad of challenges. From learning to accept quirks that grate your nerves to reconciling after a full-blown argument. Every relationship has highs and lows; it helps us grow together and understand and respect each other’s boundaries. We discover what we are willing to change within reason and what is a…
The Art of Procrastination
This blog post has taken me some time to get around to… It is a testament to my stellar ability to push an article aside and hope it magically writes itself. Unfortunately, it never does. We are all culprits of procrastination; the path of least resistance beckons us all, especially after a hard day’s work….
Playing The Blame Game: The Detrimental Impact of Avoiding Responsibility
Life would be blissful and easy in a perfect world, and blame would never point in our direction. We could skate through life doing what we pleased, never being held accountable for our actions. Unfortunately, such a world does not exist, and we all must take responsibility. While conflicts and disagreements are a normal part…
Coping Strategies, How to Survive Bullying from Authority Figures
Bullying is a distressing experience, especially when it originates from someone in a position of power or authority. When this happens, you can feel helpless and powerless to speak your mind for fear of retaliation, leaving you trapped between a rock and a hard place. On the one hand, you would like to tell the…
Healing Your Relationship: Overcoming Communication Breakdown
Healthy communication is the heartbeat of any relationship, a tie that connects two individuals, allowing them to understand, empathize, and support each other in the good and bad times. A solid relationship filled with harmony and understanding relies heavily on effective communication. When communication breaks down within a relationship, it can be incredibly distressing for…