Partner Anger May Be Improved by Better Sleep Habits
How sleep issues can affect anger expression in couples and negatively affect relationships and communication? Sleep is probably the most underrated of habits that impact health and wellbeing. A lack of sleep the night before is enough to leave us tired, grumpy and fed up for the rest of the day. Getting the right amount of…
Five tips for preventing resentment from ruining your marriage
When you and your spouse hit rough times, it seems that no matter what you do, things get worse. You blame your spouse; your spouse blames you and nothing changes. Out of desperation, you eventually step back from your situation and try to think more clearly. And thankfully, when you aren’t mired in the muck,…
Needing to be Right- A Sure-Fire Losing Strategy for Partner Communication
When I was a young psychologist, I recall a young woman in my practice who was very upset because men simply didn’t see her as very feminine and treated her like “one of the guys,” instead of like a “girl” as she deeply desired. I asked for an example of what she meant.”The other night…
How To Accept Disturbing Thoughts
Many people have disturbing and even horrifying thoughts. These thoughts are not based in reality, yet cause us to react as if they are indeed real. Others can’t stop thinking about the possibility of losing control and even harming someone. You may worry about making irreparable mistakes.These obsessive thoughts can be very disturbing if you…
Puffy Gets Angry. Illustrated parental guide for parents of young children.
This delightful children’s book is designed to provide a guide for adults to helps young kids learn how to manage their anger. It is written by Dr. Rich Pfeffer, (recognized anger management expert) and Susie Post Roberts and is endorsed by the National Anger Management Association. The most difficult part of anger for anybody to…
We Now Offer Teletherapy During the Covid-19 Crisis
Hello Everyone, I hope you all are well and adjusting to all the new stresses that are suddenly upon us. In some cases, being at home with each other has been a positive experience. In other cases, not so much. At any rate, here are some resources to help you: How To Cope With Anxiety…
Angry because your partner just won’t change? Try a fresh approach.
Aaron and MaryAaron and Mary have been married 23 years. She is often angry. He is a very gentle soul who has a lifestyle admired by many. He has a lot of money, he “works” by playing golf 2-3 times a week while courting new clients, he has a gorgeous loyal wife and two beautiful…
How To Deal With a Passive-Aggressive Partner
HOW TO DEAL WITH A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PARTNER Husband- When I got mad at you, you never fight back, How do you control your anger?Wife- I clean the toilet.Husband-How does that help?Wife- I use your toothbrush As this little vignette illustrates, passive-aggression is a way to get even at someone behind their back, often without…
Anger, Elephants, and My Late Father
My 94 year old father with whom I have always had a rocky, angry relationship recently died. At his memorial service in a small Midwestern town, I had an eye-opening experience. The room was filled with people who talked about how loving and giving my father was. About how humorous he was and how much…
New Discernment Counseling for Couples On the Brink
Up to 40% of people who divorce wish they hadn’t done so. Yet, many of these people say they tried “everything”,including couples therapy, but to no avail. Why doesn’t couples therapy,even done by experienced and competent therapists prevent breakup more of the time? One reason is that both partners and the therapist often don’t have…
Can Personal Values Differences Destroy a Relationship?
You bet they do. Often the seeds of destruction are in the relationship the moment you meet even though it my take many years for it to actually die. Famous marital researcher Dr John Gottman teaches and trains therapists as follows: “It’s a myth that if you solve your problems you’ll automatically be happy. We…
Road Rage In Reverse. An Act of Kindness.
This is a personal story. Yesterday I was tooling down the 405 freeway in Southern California when suddenly I heard a loud pop which I assumed belong to another vehicle. I was in the center lane of a very crowded freeway and suddenly realized that the bang was coming from MY car. A blowout! Behind…
Successful Couples Repair Conflict
Let’s face it. All couples fight. In successful relationships as well as others. Having fights is not necessarily a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. If all couples fight, What then makes the difference between successful vs unsuccessful relationships? Simply put, one major difference is having the skills and ability to repair the…
Couples Conflict – The Dance of Anger
Jim and Sally have been married for 10 years. They argue so much that friends invite them for dinner a lot because they provide the evening’s entertainment with their bickering and constant conflict. Their arguments are over many of the same issues over and over again. They just seem to trigger angry responses in each…
Defensiveness Can Destroy Relationships
How would you describe a “defensive” person? To me, a defensive person is always blocking other people, like a defensive back on a football team. Keeping them out. Not letting them get close. Not letting others influence them in any way. Defensive people are poor listeners because while you are talking they are preparing their…
Anger Management Class is a big step for some
It is a huge step for some people to commit to an anger management class. Recently we had one fellow who was angry because he had to attend anger nursing courses. He shared that he came early, circled the building and then drove away, deciding that he was too angry to walk up the stairs…
Anger Management In Action: Stop yelling At Your Kids
I hate to hear parents screaming at their kids. Why? Because it doesn’t work! It creates a bad feeling between parent and child! It makes the “yeller” look very bad socially (if done in public). It encourages “push back” from the yelled-at child. Did I mention that it doesn’t work? Anger Management is an important…
Anger Class 101: Silence is an Anger Management Tool
They say that silence is golden. Tell that to Sally and Jim who argue constantly and fight like cats and dogs over almost every issue. Both are highly successful, intelligent and verbal so there is no end to issues over which to fight. If perchance they do run out of issues temporarily, they creatively start…
Promotional Video for Marriage and Couples Therapy in Newport Beach
I just posted a new promotional video that I had created announcing my new location in Newport Beach California. In addition to providing marriage and couples therapy at this new location, I can also provide my services to people all over the world with Skype. It is my hope that I can help improve the…
The AngerCoach on Skype: Get individual sessions at your convenience
Over the years, I have always tried to use technology to help offer my services to more people and in more convenient ways. For over a decade I made practical use of my website for this very reason. Once the technology became available , toll free number I made my anger management program available as…
Want to feel less angry toward your partner? Create Couple Bubble
Want to feel less angry toward your partner? While almost all couples get angry at each other, research shows that this does not necessarily mean that your relationship is in trouble. The trouble comes from not knowing the root of the anger, how to deal with that anger, how to communicate it, and how to…