Anger Tool #3: Respond Instead of React

The Anger Coach, with Century Anger Management, had developed a unique and acclaimed model of anger management called the “Eight Tools” model. Tool #3 is “Respond instead of React” meaning that human beings have the unique ability to decide and make choices how to deal with anger triggers in their world. This means we have to be flexible in our approach to anger triggers as well as take responsibility for our own decisions. No one says it better and more succinctly than poet Portia Nelson in a poem called “Autobiography in Five Short Chapters:”

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost. I am I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I’m in the same place.

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in. It is a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter 4.

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter 5.

I walk down another street.

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