Understanding Marital Dynamics: Objective and Subjective Realities
In my decades of practice, I have learned that subjective reality has much to answer for. If it were a character in a novel, it would most certainly be the most cunning and manipulative antagonist. Subjective reality has caused some of the largest roof-raising arguments I have ever heard, and if we look back at…
Harmful Communication versus Assertive Communication, Part 2.
Last week, we looked at two forms of harmful communication, how they could negatively affect a relationship and alternative ways to communicate so that resolution occurs positively and healthily. This week, we continue our journey into this topic. Harmful communication style #1 – Contempt. Contempt is a communication style that expresses feelings of inferiority, where…
Harmful Communication versus Assertive Communication
It is easy to fall into communication patterns that harm us and those around us. Unfortunately, this often results in tense workplace relationships, soured friendships, and, in the case of your relationship, partner conflict that can inevitably lead to divorce. Today, we will address two harmful communication styles and offer some techniques and examples to…
The Significance of Social Awareness
Social awareness plays a crucial role in our interactions with others, yet some people seem completely unaware of the impact they have on those around them. They may unintentionally upset people in various settings, like at work or within their family, yet remain puzzled when confronted with negative reactions. Their lack of empathy prevents them…
Why J.A.D.E. doesn’t work to resolve conflict with your partner
What is JADE? It is an acronym for the ineffective tactics of Justifying, Arguing, Defending or Explaining to resolve conflict. It is a term borrowed from psychiatrist and team-cognitive-behavioral guru Dr David Burns. Here is what it means J – Justifying your actions. “I might have done that, but you also did….” Justifying is a…
Peace at any Price – Jeffrey’s story
Many people in relationships are averse to conflict and confrontation which is why some people choose to adopt the “peace at any price” approach to dealing with relationship issues. While this tactic can avert direct confrontation in the moment – it often delays the inevitable. Coping with your partners disrespect for long periods of time…
6 Methods to communicate assertively
Assertive communication helps people – whether they are in relationships or not – experience better interpersonal outcomes. In this video, I will help you understand what assertive communication means, and I provide 6 simple ways to implement assertive communication tools in your life. Improve your relationships with others whether they be friends, family, workmates or…
Anger and sex – 5 tips to help couples
As a practicing psychologist and marriage therapist, I often encounter clients who are angry because they suffer sexual frustration in their marriage or relationship. Anger is sometimes a secondary emotion, meaning that there is something underneath it which triggers it. Often that “something” is sexual frustration. In this video I will help you to understand…