Quick Anger Tip 12 – With kids, calmly deliver consequences to behavior

Parents often get exasperated with their children and handle their feelings by yelling or shouting threats that are non-enforceable. Much better to calmly deliver consequences to behavior. Why? Because it is much more effective.

To understand this concept, image the following scenario. You are speeding in your car, perhaps going 50 miles an hour in a 35 mile an hour zone. You pass a policeman on the corner who has no way to stop you. He sees you however, and reacts by jumping up and down, shouting threats about giving you a ticket, and turning red-faced.

Now, imaging a second scene. This time you look in your rear-view mirror and see that dreaded red light flashing for you to pull over. The officer calmly and respectfully tells you that you are speeding, writes a ticket and says that he’ll see you in court on a specific date where you’ll probably pay a fine of $250.

Which scenario would most likely cause you to change your speeding behvior?

Most people admit that the second scenario is much more powerful. Likewise, calmly delivering either natural or agreed-upon consequences to behavior is a much more powerful strategy to modify the behavior of your children than yelling, shouting, or threatening. And, it makes most parents feel more in control of themselves and less angry toward their kids.