Become an optimist for better health and happiness
Friends Jane and Anthony have very different ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (“the glass is half-empty”) while Anthony is an optimist (“the glass is half-full”) Let’s compare how they think about similar life experiences: Scenario 1: A bad thing happens: both lose their jobsJane is devastated, convincing herself that she is…
Diffuse family anger by talking differently — to yourself!
Case #1: Jeanette and Tom had been married 15 years. Wanting to surprise him for his birthday, Jeanette bought (with her own money) Tom a big-screen LCD television. Tom’s reaction? He instantly blew up and berated Jeanette for spending so much money, buying more television than they needed, and buying a bigger one than they…
How optimism can help—or hurt—your marriage
Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years— no small feat in today’s world. At first, their friends could not understand how their marriage succeeded, due to numerous perceived shortcomings. However, closer scrutiny of their marriage revealed that it was their thinking patterns—the ways they explained and interpreted their partner’s behavior to themselves—that…
Four ways to think like an optimist and improve your your health
Even as a child, James was described by teachers and his parents as a happy optimist. As the story goes, one day his parents decided to play a joke on him and test his attitude by requiring him to spend an afternoon cleaning deserted stables at what had been a local racetrack. Returning after two…
How to control your emotions on the road
Dateline: December 4th. Orange County, California. A 29 year old man was shot to death, an apparent victim of road rage. According to newspaper accounts, he had a reputation for never backing down from a fight. The man and his half brother were heading home from a plumbing job when the trouble began. Driving in…
ANGRY AT YOUR PARTNER? Think Again!
Literally, think again. And then think about what you are thinking about- especially around anger issues. As famous psychologist William James said over 100 years ago: “Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.” The case of Sally and Jim Sally and Jim sat in my office glaring at each other. Sally told a…
Aggressive Driving Has High Costs
News item: “A 32-year-old Payson man learned that lesson the hard way Sunday. He was driving down a street in Orem (Utah) with his wife and children when he exchanged angry words with a local man. The Orem man pursued the family and tailgated their Chevy Suburban. In the heat of the moment, the Payson…
Anger May Trigger Heart Problems
If you have heart problems and are on a ventricular fibrillator, try to stay calm! Boston researchers are reporting that bursts of anger may trigger potentially fatal heart rhythm disturbances. The hotter the temper, the higher the risk appears of ventricular fibrillation. “The old conventional wisdom is that, if you know someone has a heart…