It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy to hold a grudge. Negative feelings have the ability to hold us captive, keeping us in the past and preventing us from moving forward in life.
When we hold a grudge in a relationship, we remain with one foot firmly planted in the past. Some people may use past grievances as a tool against their partner, others hurt so badly that they are unable to move forward for fear of being scarred again.
In my practice, I am often asked ‘How do I forgive?’ or ‘I don’t know how to let go of the hurt, can ever trust them again?’ Forgiveness is not about forgetting but about learning to live peacefully where you are no longer intimately connected to the emotional pain.
There are times when we must come to terms with the fact that there are aspects, or perpetual issues within our relationship that may never change and holding onto these harms us in the long term.
When you learn how to resolve perpetual issues within yourself, your resentment slowly begins to dissolve. Acceptance, forgiveness and adaptation is often the only solution to this.
If the problem between you is a deal breaker (and some are), then break or modify the deal. Otherwise, know that you will be much happier if you can let go of the closely held resentment by dropping the bone per se.
In my new course, “Anger and your Relationship – The Road to Repair”, I teach you how to let go of resentment and grudges. I explain why this feeling can have positive and negative benefits and how you can work to move forward and truly forgive.